A letter to my unborn child.

To the dearest human who currently resides in my womb.

I cannot explain how grateful I am for your existence already and the things that you have taught me about myself. The world can be so messy and difficult to navigate, and your actuality has grounded me and shown me true purpose and accomplishment. For that I will be forever grateful, and I promise to carry that into our relationship as it develops after your birth, no matter how tricky that may be for us to navigate.

I promise to give you my patience, something that was not always granted to me by others but is something that I have learnt to give myself in abundance. You will need space to be angry, upset and frustrated and I promise to give you that space. The world is unfair. Injustice is something that you will have to learn to live alongside; not every injustice will be able to be righted and some you must learn to wash over you like a tide. I also trust that you will know when to stand up to injustice, you will share my strong voice, and I am sure you will learn to exert it with more precision than I have.

Don’t compare your value with others. There will always be a pressure to compare yourself with your peers. Academically, financially and physically you will feel the need make a comparison of yourself with the people around you – the first thing you need to learn is to stop this. Compare yourself with the version of yourself you were yesterday, last week, last year. All you should ask of yourself is to be the best version of yourself that you are able to be. I’m not saying that this will be easy, but it will bring you peace that not many people are able to find. Trust me.

Love yourself. Like really love yourself. Shape your life around what makes YOU happy and you will be surrounded by joy. It is not selfish to prioritise your own pleasure and well-being. If you find yourself surrounded by people that disagree with this then they are not your people. Don’t be afraid to let these people out of your life. It can be scary when people you thought made your life better are not true supporters, but I promise you life will be better without them. True pleasure and joy cannot be born out of other persons suffering, remember this when considering your own needs. You cannot disguise true selfishness with a desire to realize your desires.

Cherish people who share your joy with you. There will be people in your life who bring about undiluted joy. Never take these people for granted. They are MEDICINE. These people may not be in your life forever but cherish them and take time to remember the times that you share with them. When you have dark times in your life these memories are life preservers, keeping the embers of joy lit in the blackness of despair.

I hope you learn when to approach your life with ferociousness and when to approach it with gentleness. It can be exhausting trying to pursue everything in your life fervently and there will be times when rest and kindness to yourself is necessary. This is not weakness. It is brave to know when to pause.

Finally, live slowly. You will be told this by everyone, and you will believe no-one, but life really does flash before your eyes. Live for the present moment. Take moments often to do nothing but take in what is happening around you. Collect photos and memories and look back on them habitually. Spend more time reminding yourself of all the magical times you have experienced than worrying about what is going to happen in the future. The future will come in whatever form it wishes to come – no matter how much time you spend worrying about it. Spend that time more wisely because one day you will be begging for that time back.

I love you endlessly and I don’t even know you yet,

Mum x